Toward Dawn
by quirks
Summary: While Dracula is stuck in Gabriel's head they get a bit too close. Now Dracula is stuck in a woman's body and is pregnant w Gabriel's child while they're on a mission to Transylvania to stop an epidemic of vampires.[DraculaxGabriel]
1. The Vampire and The Killer

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Disclaimer: _I don't own zip. Just the fic. Please don't sue me, I'm just a teenager, and the only thing I could pay you with is crazy hair colour dyes. Unless you really want blue hair…_

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A/N: _Don't be offended by the song. Hint, it is called Judith for a reason and if you're a Christian you should know who Judith was. In fact, don't read the song if you think you'll be pissed off at it. And does anyone have a better story title instead of "Toward Dawn?"_

You're such an inspiration for ways that I will never ever choose to be.   
Oh so many ways for me to show you how your saviour has abandoned you.   
Thank (fuck) your god.   
He did this, took all you had and left you this way.   
Still you pray, never stray, never taste of the fruit.

Never thought to question why.   
It's not like you killed someone.   
It's not like you drove a hateful spear into his side.   
Praise the one who left you broken down and paralysed.

He did it all for you.

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Judith, A Perfect Circle

Toward Dawn

Default Chapter No One Ever Knows Why

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[Hmmm…this place is rather dark…]

Van Helsing's eyes flashed open from his sleep. His hazel eyes searched the ceiling and walls in his bedroom for the voice that sounded so familiar, a voice of a person who he thought he had killed…well, destroyed, since the monster had all ready been dead. Nothing on the walls, he concluded. Still distrustful and suspicious of where the voice was coming from, he clandestinely pulled the sheets off of him, and noiselessly set his feet on the old wooden floor. Progressively moving across the room, he grabbed his crossbow that was in his old leather bag and aimed it in front of him.

[I wonder where I am. Damn Lucifer, he gave me the wrong directions to get back! I should've known he would do this.]

Where is his voice coming from? Van Helsing thought. There was silence while Van Helsing narrowed his eyes in disbelief and glanced out the window, thinking of possible answers. This was getting too odd for him and he was Van Helsing. It was one thing to kill monsters and creatures but another thing to hear them. He couldn't be -

[No. No. No. I am NOT spending all of eternity in Van Helsing's HEAD! Lucifer I demand you get me out now you wretched thing! We made a deal! You didn't say that I would end up HERE.]

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Oh God, this can't be happening, Van Helsing thought. _God, Jesus, Virgin Mary, anyone, angels, anything and anyone up there listening, you can't do this to me - I'm the right hand of God! I'm the warrior of good! I serve the church -_

[Wait! You can hear me?]

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YES AND GET OUT OF MY HEAD NOW YOU PHYSCHO MANIAC BLOOD SUCKING NEEDY SON OF A -

[I am NOT needy and I am not a SON OF A BITCH you filthy looking greasy haired foul breath smelling in need of a good bath dirty man of a whore human!]

YOU GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD NOW DRACULA!

[Believe me…I am trying to get out of here…being locked up in your dirty and filthy ignorant and perverted human mind is the least bit enjoyable. I certainly do NOT want to talk to you or hear from you or see your ugly face, much less be in your HEAD!]

Then - get - OUT!

[WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?! WALTZING?]

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I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW! BUT GET OUT! Van Helsing stopped yelling his thoughts in his head. There was a long stretch of silence where Gabriel could hear his breathing and his heart beat at the same time. Glancing around the room, he hoped his enemy was out of his head, for good. Gabriel shuddered. Dracula had to be gone from his head. How could he do any of his favourite things with him being there?

[Don't worry. I don't want to see you and some whore doing things in a dark alleyway or even see you naked for that matter.]

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You're THERE?! STILL? Why can't you leave me ALONE?! And the feeling is mutual. I'd drop dead if I saw - ugh - I can't even think it.

[Good, because I don't WANT you to THINK it! Any thoughts of me without clothes on you have stay away from your head or anywhere near you! And yes, Van Helsing, I'm obviously still here, unfortunately, until Lucifer gets off his horny and bumpy arse and quits laughing at this sick joke of his.]

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Oh God…this cannot be happening. Please, you cannot do this -

[Will you STOP praying to God?! It's bad enough he even exists, let alone, be hearing this pathetic and pitiful conversation you're having with him when he's barely paying attention to your prayer. You're talking to yourself, I hope you know. He doesn't and never listen.]

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GOD?! GET HIM OUT OF HERE! MY HEAD ISN'T FOR RENT!

[He doesn't and never help also, by the way.]

Shut UP!

[Excuse me, but you're the one disturbing the peace here. I'm being a good innocent vampire who's been trapped inside the mind of a sworn holy man who's devoted his life to killing evil and who would like to kill me, and worst of all, I think you may be a virgin. Some how I can tell. It's this odd colour I can see around your clothed, thank Lucifer for that at least, body. It's white. How disturbing. Gabriel. This is very pathetic of you. Very. You are a man of how old? Well, centuries old, and yet you haven't well, done anything. I truly pity you.]

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Go to hell you bastard!

[Oh I've been there. Very pleasant scenery during the torturing seasons. The sounds of - ]

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Stop it. I'm not ready for the revolting fascinations you have with death and pain and torture. So stop it. Before thoughts of, God forgive me, you naked happen. Gabriel sighed happily at the silence afterwards.

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TBC


	2. Sex Sex & Blood Blood

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Disclaimer: _I don't own zip. Just the fic. Please don't sue me, I'm just a teenager, and the only thing I could pay you with is crazy hair colour dyes. Unless you really want blue hair…_

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A/N: _Oops…I knew it was left hand not right…damn it, damn it, damn it - oops. Sorry guys, lol! Thanks for all the reviews. I'd write author notes but I'm too lazy and tired to. I'm glad no one was offended by the song but then again…if you read vampire fics that is kind of against God…that's my opinion at least. ALSO! NEXT CHAPPIE: VAN HELSING'S UNDERWEAR COME OFF! YEAH!!! Lol. So stay tuned!_

Toward Dawn

Chapter One - Love is Blind

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I need to get ready for…"work"…Van Helsing thought miserably, knowing instead of thinking, with his thoughts being intercepted and everything, that getting undressed would be a difficult task now that Dracula was in his head. Christ, he was literally hearing voices in his head. _What's next?_ he thought, _Anna coming back to life?_ But more importantly, how could he change his underwear in front of Dracula? Dracula could all ready tell he was a virgin by that "mysterious light" he claimed he could see around Gabriel's clothed, Van Helsing swallowed nervously hoping it had been clothed, body. If there was one thing Van Helsing was sure of, it was that he wasn't gay. He wasn't in love with Carl or had ever been in love with the friar. In fact, he had despised Carl's _accidental_ stroking and touches which made him shudder in remembrance, and he most certainly didn't want any man to see him naked below the belt.

Dracula coughed, interrupting Gabriel's thoughts abruptly, and snorted in laughter. [I'm very sorry Gabriel…but I just don't think things would work out between us. I don't like you in that _way._ Truly, I don't even like you. You see, it would never work.]

Van Helsing nearly choked from disbelief and sputtered in his thoughts, _like I would ever touch you slimy disgusting evil parasite relative of a leech!_

Dracula laughed which made the hairs on Gabriel's neck stand and cause a cold shiver down his spine. [Of course Gabriel. I understand how a man must save his dignity and honour after rejection -]

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I DON'T WANT YOU! AS IF I WOULD BE LUSTING AND WANTING TO ROMP AN OLD VILE THING THAT'S A VAMPIRE! AND A MALE ON TOP OF THAT!

["A male on top of that?" Hmmm…would this thought be coming somewhere from the dark and hidden recesses of your subconscious mind? Gabriel, the first step to over coming this passionate obsession with me is to quite denying the facts and the evidence. And I disagree to that first part! I am NOT a vile thing. I am…older than average and a vampire. True. And I agree with the part of you lusting after me and wanting to "romp" me.]

Gabriel shuddered in disgust. _I have virgin ears, Dracula. As long as you'll be living in my HEAD you'll show some manners. One being, no insulting me. Two being, DON'T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT!_

["Shit?" "Shit" like what?]

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I don't want to hear about your revolting FANTASIES! Keeping them to your bloody self in the near future! There's NOTHING sexual between us! END OF STORY!

[But Gabriel…they're your revolting fantasies. I didn't bring the words lust and sex up until you did.]

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Dracula, would you like to know something…a theory I have come up with concerning you and me?

[I don't desire you.]

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No, of course not! Gabriel grinned. _But please do hear my theory…_

Dracula sighed. [Very well, Gabriel. What is your theory?]

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Thank you oh prince of leeches other wise known as the common Transylvanian pest, vampires, for deciding to listen to a holy man! Van Helsing thought sarcastically. _The theory is that all vampires have led such lonely and isolated lives with depression and the bipolar disorder that loneliness feels like insanity so sex is a release to them. So naturally, of course, from sexual frustration and unrequited love and etc., they feel a tendency and urge to want to jump and attack everything sexually besides biting them and all they think of besides blood is sex. It makes perfect sense. It's a perfect explanation for why you had three wives and why you were also known as the ladies man in your day and even centuries forward in this modern day. Sex - sex - sex - sex - sex - and - blood - blood - blood - blood - blood!_

Silence. Van Helsing felt like crying from joy and relief when the dreaded beast's voice was heard. [What in hell…do you think of in your spare time? And let me clarify some things, my idiotic insane lunatic enemy. A vampire isn't related to a leech and I do NOT like being compared to one. I am NOT a pest to Transylvanians. I was and still am their prince. You ALSO have a very large misconception of vampires. We are NOT depressed pathetic little things like human beings nor are we bipolar. And we do NOT want to bite and fuck everything that's alive and moves, Gabriel! And I have the right to marry whomever I want and have as many wives as I want. Vampires are just naturally charming. It doesn't necessarily make me a "ladies man." And we DO think of more things than BLOOD and SEX! I think of killings for one.]

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You're not supposed to have that many wives though. It goes against the bible. Everybody knows that. OK, change of strategy Gabriel knew, make him annoyed.

[My very existence goes against the bible. If you're going to go against the bible, you might as well do everything _against_ the bible, don't you think?]

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I wouldn't know. I AM a holy man AFTER ALL. Not that you would forget that…though maybe age is getting to you…

[Do you want to know something that will horrify you, little Gabriel?]

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Talking to you is horrifying Dracula. Having you in my head is also horrifying. I think ever having to see your face was enough to make God scream like a woman. But no, go ahead, horrify me more. If I can be horrified anymore…

[YOU - ARE - AS - OLD - AS - ME. SURPRISE! Now what WERE you saying about my age?]

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You might have grey hairs.

[Be silent you abhorrent ill-bred idiot!]

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YOU BE SILENT! I JUST WANT TO CHANGE MY UNDERWEAR IN PEACE! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! GO AWAY IN YOUR IMAGINARY LITTLE COFFIN AND STAY LOCKED UP IN THERE SO I CAN CHANGE AND GET READY TO KILL EVIL THINGS!

[Well…this IS getting very tedious and ennui. Very well. Let's make a compromise. I won't say anything against your race and you won't say anything against mine. Agreed?]

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YES! NOW LET ME GET UNDRESSED!

[Well, don't talk to me about it! As if I would LOOK at a man, much less a holy man that wants to kill me.]

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Then GO and stay in your little imaginary coffin!

[Don't worry I AM!]

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GOOD!

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TBC


	3. Spitting Games

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Disclaimer: _I don't own zip. Just the fic. Please don't sue me, I'm just a teenager, and the only thing I could pay you with is crazy hair colour dyes. Unless you really want blue hair…_

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A/N: _I was rereading over the thing I said in my last author notes and my explanation sucked about "if you read vampire fics that is kind of against God…that's my opinion at least." I think some people might take offence to that because I was unclear. I meant people who read vampire fics probably aren't offended easily with things that go against God. That's a bit clear at least. I didn't want any hate reviews or anything. About the boxers thing, I don't know people's underwear looked like in those days so I'm saying boxers. Inaccurate, true. But come on, it's fricking UNDERWEAR for heaven's sake. Who cares?_

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I find it easier to sit and stare

Than push my limbs out towards you right

My heart is bursting in your perfect eyes

As blue as oceans and as pure as skies

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Spitting Games, by Snow Patrol

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Toward Dawn

Chapter Two - Spitting Games

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Thinking now or never, Gabriel grabbed some underwear from his drawers, quickly tore down his trousers, and then he was left wearing only his boxers. He swallowed uneasily, then licked his lips, and began rubbing his face. _Are you in your imaginary coffin or something or whatever the hell you vampires sleep in?_

[Wouldn't you like to know. Didn't I tell you that you had an obsess-]

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ARE YOU LOOKING AWAY OR NOT?! Gabriel demanded. Having the burden of having Dracula live in his head was really bothering him and was about to drive him to insanity. Having to worry about a thousand year old or however old something evil seeing your package was mortifying. What if he lied and saw something…?

Gabriel heard him sigh impatiently. [Get over it. I'm not interested in you. And I'm not interested in men. And I'm definitely, NOT interested in seeing you naked. So you have no worries of me watching the strip show starring you.]

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Do you have to be so - agh - there's not even a word for it! Why do you have to exist?!

[Because…I became a vampire. And will you quit questioning my existence! I'm not exactly alive but I'm here in your HEAD. And I promise you, I am NOT staying in your head for all eternity.]

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Fine. Then don't look!

Gabriel heard him sigh. [As I've said before. I'm not going to look at you.]

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Close your eyes.

[They all ready are. They have been since I saw you undoing your trousers.]

Gabriel's eyes twitched and felt a sudden need to hit something - especially Dracula's face. Sighing nervously, he took off his underwear reluctantly and quickly got on his new boxers. But Gabriel almost tripped when he heard Dracula's voice.

[Hmmm…no wonder you're still a virgin. That thing is the size of a walnut.]

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IT'S NOT SMALL!

[Right…as you say.]

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It's NOT SMALL!

[Gabriel. You are the biggest idiot. And that is saying a lot. I thought Igor was the world's number one idiot but I need to make an alteration to that; it's actually you.]

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What do you mean?! I'm not an idiot!

[It's called joking. You have heard of a joke, haven't you?]

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'Course I have!

[I highly doubt that. Oh well. Moving on. Oh, but by the way, did you hear that click sound when you were changing?]

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What click sound? Gabriel thought suspiciously, looking around the room, expecting a monster hiding in the shadows to jump him. What was it with monsters jumping him anyways these days?

[How am I to know? I never jumped you. But I thought I should just let you know about the click sound.]

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(At work in Rome.)

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"Carl…what are these _things _and why am I _naked _in them?" Gabriel demanded angrily.

"Oh um…see…I've made a new invention!" Carl said in a squeaky high pitched voice which Gabriel knew from working with Carl for a while, meant he was lying or trying to hide something.

"Would that invention be perhaps made to see me _naked?_" _What was it with him being naked today? _ he thought.

[I don't want to see you naked. You started the whole naked thing. You should know I don't go back on my word unless there are benefits for me. What kind of benefit would I get seeing you naked? Blindness?]

"Shut up!" Gabriel yelled.

Carl stared speechless at him, trembling underneath Gabriel's fierce gaze. "But I haven't said anything!"

Gabriel could hear Dracula laughing insanely with amusement at Gabriel's stupidity and mistake. Gabriel could see himself all ready, locked up in a dirty room with just a cot and no window, sentenced to live there forever for being thought insane. _Why is this happening to me?_

Dracula didn't say anything, too busy laughing at the photos, Carl, and Gabriel losing his temper at his frightened friar that was in love with him. It was too much for him. A friar was in love with a man! He'd never forget that! It was actually somewhat pleasant living in Van Helsing's head. He hadn't laughed in the past few centuries. It was a refreshing change to find something unbearably amusing and have his stomach be in pain from laughing so hard.

"Carl - look - I'm sorry! I didn't mean to yell at you! It was an accident! Just tell me why you have photos of me like _that _and what the hell is that invention? Also, could I borrow it for a few days. I think it would come quite in handy for some _sight seeing_ - "

Carl nervously looked away from Van Helsing, too scared to tell him why he had photos of him naked and he would have to tell him that he was in love with him! Swallowing uneasily, shifting his eyes from Van Helsing's piercing gaze that seemed to know or have a feeling what he was hiding, he took a deep breath. "I made an invention. It was supposed to be blinding light that kills a vampire or at least stuns them, but I've been doing some experimenting and testing and researching and it doesn't work. But I found out it takes _portraits _of people! So I thought - I - er - well - would take a picture of you."

"Naked." Gabriel didn't make it sound like a question but more of a statement. So he had been right. Carl DID fancy him.

Carl nodded quickly. Gabriel looked away, embarrassed and not knowing what to say. In his head, Dracula was calming down. He sighed, hating to have to ask him something. Much less advice on his love life. _What do I do?_ he thought miserably.

Dracula snorted. [Well…you can "romp" him and fulfil your adult male fantasies. That might even get you over your obsession with me. Hopefully. Or it might make it worse. Or you can turn him down. Tell him you don't love him and get a lock on your door and windows. 'Course that will be difficult sneaking women out but since you're a virgin you have nothing to fear but something to lose.]

Gabriel shivered. _That's the last time I ask you for advice. There's too much adult and disturbing things you say along with it._

[Well if you don't want the answer don't ask why or what.]

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Stay in hell next time.

[No, it gets too boring down there at times. I'd rather stay here, not in your HEAD but in my castle.]

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You should've locked yourself in there and stay there instead of tormenting people, like ME.

[I am not going over the same arguments with you. We both don't want me in here. So we'll have to find a way to get me out of here. Unfortunately, it will be very difficult. It might not just take weeks or months, but it could take years…decades…maybe centuries even…]

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NO! Stop that thought! I would rather die than live with you inside my head!

[Same here, only I'm all ready dead. But we can help each other out. There is nothing else to do really. I can help you to lose your virginity for starters!]

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No. You're not getting involved with my love life!

[But you invited me to help you.]

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I did NOT!

[Yes, you did. In fact, it was only seconds ago. You wanted my advice for what you should do about Carl.]

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WELL I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!

[I think you're racist. Yes, you're racist against all things that aren't "normal" by your standards. Everything can't be tainted for you.]

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That's not true! All people are sinners but many people are good and trying to correct their flaws while others, such as yourself, you're doing quite the opposite. It's as if you want to be damned and go to hell. You don't want to ever go to heaven or redeem yourself or be something good. You're damned. You've traded everything good so that you could never go to heaven.

[Shut up. I don't want to hear your terrible theories. The first one was bad enough. If I wasn't dead all ready, I think your theories would kill me.]

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Just stay out of my life as much as you can.

[But I'm all ready part of it.]

Gabriel shuddered. _I know. That's why I think I'm never going to be able to fall asleep again._

[Oh good. Then we can stay up all night telling stories of women, well, you can tell stories of men, and - ]

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Not happening.

[I can teach you how to get women though since you "say" you're not gay!]

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How 'bout not.

[Fine but your love is talking to you.]

Gabriel snapped out of it and could hear Carl bawling and saw him at his feet, sobbing loudly and begging for forgiveness, and saying how it was a mistake. _Oh God, _he thought. _When will this end?_

[Never. You're immortal, remember?]

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Of course I remember. With a evil like you in my head it's hard to enjoy anything since you have to fuck everything up besides biting and on top of fucking everything up you actually DO FUCK everything except trees since they don't move.

[You're very cranky. I think you really need to get laid. By man or woman. See, you can use Carl as your mistress or man whore!]

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You're fucking demented.

[Same as you, Gabriel.]

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TBC


	4. OH! Yessss…GAYbe!

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Disclaimer: I don't own zip. Just the fic. Please don't sue me, I'm just a teenager, and the only thing I could pay you with is crazy hair colour dyes. Unless you really want blue hair…

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A/N: Um…is my story perverted or is it the characters who are perverted? I thought a perverted story would be one with a perverted plot like a guy who's obsessed with sex who tries to take pictures of naked people (what do ya know? That sounds like Carl!). I dunno. Maybe I'm being paranoid.

Also, no offence to any gay people it's just GAYbe sounded so hilarious and it was the only thing I could think of.

And anyone think I should do an update mailing list?

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Toward Dawn

Chapter Three - OH! Yessss…..GAYbe!

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"Carl. I'm not in love with you. I'm sorry if I've broken your heart and hurt you so badly, but I'm not attracted to men at all. You know I've never been with a woman. Not that I can't _get_ a woman, there was Anna, though unfortunately, I never slept with her because of her death that's my fault. That may have led you to believe _things_ about me…questions of what sex I'm aroused by. But I can honestly say, I prefer women over men. You're the only good friend I have - that's still alive - and we've been close friends for years. I watched you grow up through your adolescent years with the acne, facial and other areas of hair, wet dreams, and advice about the cold water trick, and everything. You're just really like a brother to me. And I don't have sex with someone that's similar to a brother to me. That would feel like incest to me and frankly, I don't know how men have sex, and I really do NOT want to know either. It's not good to have relationships with your co-workers and partners, too. A perfect example would be of Anna and me. Especially in this line of work," Gabriel said softly, trying to offer some comfort to Carl and explain himself clearly so Carl wouldn't be infatuated with him anymore. How Carl could find him attractive baffled him. Men were just…men. Nothing new. Women were…more exciting and got your heart beat racing…and they had _boobs_. A smile threatened to cross his face as he thought dreamily of how Anna would've looked naked -

[You're pitiful and distorted, Gabriel. You're not attracted to women. You're attracted to their breasts. As long as I'm in your head, I really don't want to know of your sexual day dreams. Don't dream, think, speak of it. There are just some things your enemies do not need to know.]

Don't tell me you don't think of a woman's chest, Gabriel thought.

[Not as often as you do, fortunately.]

That's a shame, Gabriel thought, smirking, _who's gay again? Oh right, supposedly that's _me_. Oh, looks like wittle Dracoo _(A/N: "oo" like the end of moo) _is confused with his sexuality. Aaaaahhhh! Would you like to see one of Carl's pictures of me to decide if you're gay or -_

[NOOOO! That WON'T be necessary! I know I'm "normal" so no. Keep those - those - THINGS of you - far AWAY from me! I will yell and give you a migraine headache if you dare blind me with them!]

Do shut up, you've been giving me a migraine since I've made the terrible discovery of you living inside my head. Why was it you that had to come back in existence and torment me? Why couldn't it have been Aleera, that red head of yours or the blonde, Marishka? At least there would've been tits involved!

[The one with the biggest breasts was Marishka and do you ever shut up? All you think of is breasts, nakedness, and etc. Talk of something else for once.]

Because thinking of women is a hell lot more interesting than talking to you.

[Excuse me, but I'm obviously a hell lot more interesting if I can have so many as three wives than you, who has never even KISSED a woman before I bet.]

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At least I don't bribe women to marry me!

[I never bribed any of my wives. They considered me a sex god and came willingly to me.]

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Yeah, ok. Whatever…Dracoo.

[SHUT UP!]

Van Helsing mentally gasped, then began mentally breathing hard, and trying to sound like Aleera, Marishka, or Verona during an orgasm.

[What in the name of - QUIT IT! AGH! I GET THE POINT! VAN HELSING! YOU PERVERTED ILL BRED INSANE ARSEHOLE! QUIT WITH THE MOANING AND BREATHING!]

Gabriel didn't listen though to him, leading to Dracula to start yelling in hopes of giving Gabriel a migraine headache. Unfortunately for Gabriel, he hadn't realized he began moaning and breathing hard outside his head.

"Oooooooooooooh………yesssss……..uuuuuuuuuuh…....uuuuu-ooooooh," Gabriel said at last, noticing that Carl was gaping at him and had his cross and holy water out in front of him. Carl's eyes were opened wide and big and were staring at Gabriel as if he was possessed which as Gabriel thought more about it, Carl probably thought he was.

"DEMON!" Carl yelled waving his cross in front of Gabriel's face and squirting holy water all over him, continued in a booming voice. "BE GONE IN THE NAME OF GOD!"

"CARL!" Gabriel yelled grabbing the cross and holy water from the somewhat insane friar that thought he could cut his own hair. "I AM NOT POSSESSED!"

"BUT YOU WERE MOANING DRACULA'S NAME!" Carl howled angrily, trying to beat Gabriel up, which was in vain. "YOU SOUNDED POSSESSED AND YOU PROBABLY ARE! WHY ELSE WOULD YOU BE SOUNDING LIKE YOU WERE HAVING AN ORGASIM WITH A VAMPIRE THAT YOU LOATHE AND HATE? DEMON BE GONE, I COMMAND YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD!"

"I was uh - uh - thinking of Anna - and then - uh - uh - Marishka - and - uh - don't you think Marishka's breasts are quite big? Yeah, they're like triple the size of our normal apples we eat everyday and they stick out," Gabriel began showing how big they were and how far they stuck out, "like that much. They almost popped out of her top because they were so humongous!"

Carl blinked. "I don't think you're gay anymore. That's certain," Gabriel smiled at that but frowned when Carl said, "but I think you should have a talk with Cardinal Jinette for guidance for your uh - "needs"."

Gabriel snorted and was about to walk off and leave the room when a young priest that was rail thin and tall sprinted to Gabriel, crashing into the monster slayer. Gabriel yelled from the pain and shock. He had cushioned the man's fall and had bruises all over his sore and aching body. The priest like Carl was nervous and frightened. His eyes looked like they were about to pop and out and the priest was red in the face with mortification.

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My ass…Gabriel thought pitifully.

[Uuuuugh. First it was an orgasim. Now it's your ass. This never ends.]

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No, you're immortal, remember? Gabriel mocked, imitating Dracula when he had said that to him.

[I think it was better when you were pretending to be a woman during intercourse having an orgasim. At least you weren't mimicking me. And Gabriel, how did it go with having a man on top of you? Did you have a sudden urge or tingly sensation down there? A cold bath works wonders…GAYbe.]

"Van Helsing!" the priest cried. "This is an emergency! Cardinal Jinette needs to see you immediately!"

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TBC


	5. The Infection

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Disclaimer: I don't own zip. Just the fic. Please don't sue me, I'm just a teenager, and the only thing I could pay you with is crazy hair colour dyes. Unless you really want blue hair…

A/N: Thanks you guys! Your support was - amazing! All those reviews in a few days made me feel all giddy and excited.

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Toward Dawn

Chapter Four - The Infection

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"What is it this this time?" Gabriel asked impatiently, swinging his head in the direction of the priest for answers, who was shaking under his full attention and had a goldfish look on his face.

"A vampire infection epidemic in Transylvania!" the priest squeaked. "The infection is growing worse by every second! In fourteen days, Romania will be totally infected and the epidemic will spread to rest of Eastern Europe and eventually the world. You need to leave on your horses, take the back roads, and leave Italy. We have two tickets ready for you to take a ship to Croatia and then from there you know the rest. It's the same as last time only we don't know who's behind this besides it being of course, a vampire. The Cardinal has gathered as many crosses, holy water in bottles, and weapons as he could to give to you. Follow me! I know where he is!"

.

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– – – – – – – – – – – –

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"I can't believe I have to go to Transylvania - AGAIN!" Carl whined as hugged Gabriel tightly for dear life and maybe for other reasons concerning him fancying the monster slayer and wanting a _touch _of the real thing. "It's not like the vampire population there would fancy having a friar help them with their connection to God and his holy son and their spirituality. They'd rather just bite my neck and kill me and call it a night."

"Carl, if this makes you feel better, all vampires are like that," Gabriel sardonically remarked, rolling his eyes at Carl's cowardice before continuing again, "it's generally their nature to want to kill humans and feed on them. It's not that they don't like your company…it's just they'd prefer you dead."

[I wouldn't want his company. 'Course it would be different if he was in chains and hanging upside down while I stuck needles in sensitive areas while - ]

__

That's not happening. Ever. So don't think about it or plan it.

[Really Gabriel, you're no fun at all.]

__

I'm not you. For that, I'm thankful to God.

[You're just God's puppet. His little errand/delivery/messenger boy.]

__

At least I'm not related to Satan like you are.

[I'm not related to him.]

__

Shut up. I don't want to talk to you.

[Yes, well, I'm inside your head. What do you plan on doing? Locking yourself up in a confession box, begging and whimpering to God why he did this to you, and then wondering why you were the chosen puppet? While you're at it, ask him for a day off to go get laid.]

__

Why don't you go lock yourself up in a tiny little coffin and ponder over how many ways you can kill a person?

"OH, that's quite comforting!" Carl exclaimed in a shrill voice and dramatically began, "they want to kill me! That's real comforting: it's in their nature to kill and drink the blood of the living, and they would rather have you dead than alive."

"Well, there's two sides to everything…" Gabriel said dryly, wondering when the hell the Cardinal would actually move his ass and get to the stables, "I was only trying to give you their perspective."

"Well I don't need a physiatrist! I'm quite healthy and normal!" Carl retorted.

Gabriel started laughing hysterically at the thought of Carl being normal.

[I don't think you should be laughing. You're not normal at all.]

__

At least I've had a real relationship with a woman unlike everyone around me. I'm more normal than these people.

[Excuse me, but you've never even had sex BEFORE! And you're somewhere between the ages of 600 to 1,000 years of age. It's pathetic.]

__

You do know I can and will ignore you?

[Yes. But you're so easy and so much fun to see you get worked up.]

__

Fuck off. Go masturbate or something in an imaginary coffin with soundproof walls.

.

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– – – – – – – – – – – –

****

Later on.

.

.

"There's no time! Take these crosses, holy water, and inventions with you! Carl can look at them later. Good luck, Van Helsing! And Michael is coming along, to help you two on your mission," Cardinal Jinette said quickly, giving Carl the inventions to put in his bags and gave Gabriel the crosses and holy water for the mean time.

"Michael?" Gabriel asked, looking stunned. Before he could ask who that was, Michael was on his brown horse that belonged to the church for the Order, and was by their side looking as shocked as they were. Gabriel looked at Michael and saw that it was the same priest who had knocked him over and the reason why he had a large bruise on his ass. His expression was the same as before, goldfish face, long bean pole body, and messy brunette hair that wasn't as badly cut as Carl's, and clumsy.

"He's as good as Carl and the inventions I gave you are his that he made. You two need as much help as you can get. He should be a blessing to have a long."

"What in - "

"But - "

Cardinal Jinette waved at them and began walking back to the church, leaving three very shocked and puzzled people. Being the leader most of, or all the time, Gabriel took charge of Michael immediately. "We better go now and we don't stop until the horses have to rest."

Gabriel looked at Michael's expression, but he was shocked to see that Michael was looking puzzled at Carl who was gaping and staring at Michael.

__

Well, if it gets Carl over his silly crush on me, no complaints.

Suddenly, moans, gasps, and harsh breathing like Gabriel had done earlier entered his mind. Dracula was mimicking Gabriel only now he was moaning Carl's name in a perfect imitation of Gabriel's voice and acting like he was having an orgasim or wanking off.

__

Oh God…why did I tell him to go masturbate?

.

.

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– – – – – – – – – – – –

****

TBC

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	6. Homosexual Hormones Unleashed

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Disclaimer: I don't own zip. Just the fic. Please don't sue me, I'm just a teenager, and the only thing I could pay you with is crazy hair colour dyes. Unless you really want blue hair…

A/N: I think this is gonna be a slash fic, lol. coughs HINT coughs HINT. **WARNING: Homosexual sex in this chappie.** Flee through the exit door at your right or buckle your seat belts, because you're in a for a ride! ;p Seriously though! **Brutal Gay sex in this chap. Turn back now or there is the chance you will scream from reading this chap.**

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Toward Dawn

Chapter Five - Homosexual Hormones Unleashed

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It was in Florence when Gabriel stopped the group and decided to stay the night to rest. Pulling his wide brim black hat down to cover his eyes, he grabbed his few bags and went into a rundown old hotel with suspicious looking people that didn't care who he was to pay for a room for himself. Seeing prostitutes with rough men making their way down and up the stairs, didn't give a second glance at him, and even more prostitutes were leaning against the rail on a landing or in a corner were looking for customers or were all ready half through their act and had their legs wrapped around the man's waist. The hotel reeked of liquor and sex. Some of the women leered at him and offered their goods to him for a small payment as he made his way up the staircase.

[What are you doing?! There are women everywhere for your pleasure and you don't even want _one_. You are gay, as I said before.]

__

I'm straight, thanks, Gabriel retorted and unlocked his room, while ignoring the women who were gathering by him and offering to warm his bed with him, and slammed the door behind him causing angry swearing and yelling.

[Then why aren't you with a "lady" for your bed?]

__

Because they're disease ridden, Gabriel thought, scowling at the thought of getting infected with some disease or getting some kind of lice from them, and looked around his room.

[You don't need to show me those pictures of you naked to blind me. This room does it all by it self.]

Gabriel shrugged, not caring that the room was shabby and dirty. As long as there was a bed everything was good. Which there was.

Dracula snorted. [What's the point? You're not going to put it to good use. What do you need it for? Sleep? You can fall asleep at a desk or at a table with a chair.]

__

Yes, for sleep, Gabriel thought crankily, feeling depressed. Ever Since his terrible discovery of Dracula living inside his mind he had been more painfully aware of the loneliness he felt emotionally and physically. Dracula had made him ten times more aware of his faults and his love life. Being alone had never bothered him before. But after Anna's death and sharing his head with Dracula, he was feeling ready to leave his bachelor days behind him. He was at least ready to have sex with a guy or woman, even if it was just one night. Somehow, having Dracula see him naked and having sex didn't seem as bad as having him see him be alone. Getting on top of his bed, _nothing else, _hethought, he roughly pulled off his black boots and black clothes. All that was left was his black boxers on his tanned muscled and toned agile body.

[Not even masturbation? You'd think it would be the opposite with the type of body you have.]

__

What? You just complimented me?

[Don't talk of it. I was merely saying it. I was pondering.]

__

Oh who has the obsession with who? Dracoo?

[SHUT UP! At least I'm NOT gay such as you! And at least I've had sex many times unlike you. You're living a miserable life with no sex, women, or anything except death. Even in life and death I lived it instinctively and adventurously. However, you are the Church's killing machine and have no life.]

Gabriel was gaping and silent and Dracula continued.

[Why even that ridiculous looking dim witted idiot, Carl, does bar maids and he's a friar!]

Gabriel was about to interject something to defend himself but the vampire continued despite Gabriel's strong feelings.

[And Carl is no doubt bedding Michael and having a sexual relationship with him at this moment!]

__

WHAT? 'Course he's not! He'd never -

[He IS gay, no?]

__

Yes but -

[He IS gay.]

__

But Michael -

[Do you EVEN know Michael? Do you know if he's gay or not? People love flattery and sex IS sex. And for two lonely friars with sexual frustrations in a private room with one being gay, what do you believe are the chances of the unmentionable and forbidden of happening? Go and check if you don't believe me.]

__

I AM!

[Good. Just remember to put something on before you leave to not attract attention to yourself.]

Gabriel was about to leave the room when he saw what he was in. Feeling embarrassed and angry at his stupidity, he pulled on his clothes and boots, and left to find Carl and Michael. After spending a lengthy time searching the room the two friars were in, he gave up, and asked Dracula for directions, however disturbing it may have been.

[The room on the right of yours. They will have come in right after you and they should have the room that's next to you if my calculations are correct. Caution though, Gabriel, what you'll find might shock you.]

__

Right, Gabriel thought sarcastically, rolling his eyes at the thought of Carl bedding another friar. Like a person opening a wrapped up present, he didn't know what he would find inside, and whether it would be good or bad, or if it was what he thought. Opening the door, his eyes met the surprise of seeing Carl and Michael ferociously having sex in bed, not even having undone the covers. Looking around the room he noticed that their clothes had been shed on the floor in a messy pile leading to the bed and their bags had been dropped off by the door. On the bed, a naked Carl lied on it on his stomach with his arms stretched out with his hands gripping both sides of the bed, and his legs opened to give Michael better access while he had his eyes shut moaning things that made Gabriel blush. Michael was on top shoving and thrusting his member inside Carl, and saying things in Carl's ears. Both seemed oblivious to the racket they were making.

__

Well, I certainly, Gabriel winced suddenly at the sight of seeing Michael slap and pinch Carl's arse, and Carl's increasing moans, both the frequency and pitch, _never saw this coming._

[No, you only saw Carl _coming_ inside YOU not Michael.]

__

No I'm not gay. But if I was, I'd have the dominant position.

[Maybe if it was Carl but if it was me, I'm still not gay, it wouldn't be like that.]

__

Well, I'd never have sex with you, I'm not gay, and I hate you, but if I was gay and I HAD to have sex with you I would have the dominant position.

[No you wouldn't.]

'Course I would. Who do you think is stronger and better and would be able to bring it faster and harder? Me or you?

[Do you really want me to answer that?]

Yes, but of course it would be me.

[No it wouldn't. You're a virgin. You've never fucked anything or anyone! I've had sex a countless number of timesand I've always had the dominant position.]

But they were all women.

[Still. I've had more sex than you and you've never had sex.]

__

But I'm more wild and impulsive and sexier than you! You're just an old rotten big bat that has sex with psycho bitches!

[But the fact remains. I've had sex before. You haven't.]

Anyone can have sex and still be bad in bed.

[I've had more than oh you're going to make me count how many women I've had sex with…damn it, this will take a bit of time. One moment.]

Right. I just put you on hold for a few seconds.

[More like hours but no worries, I have an extraordinary mind and memory.]

Gabriel rolled his eyes and brought his attention back to Carl and Michael. Gabriel was sniggering at the sight of Michael biting and clawing at Carl while violently thrusting into him at the same times and growling things at him.__

Yeah, Carl was always a bit too feminine.

[1,999.]

Gabriel nearly choked from shock. _That's - that's not true. I'm not an idiot._

[I have all of eternity. What do you think I've been doing in most of it so far and in my life? Masturbating, which you don't even do? No I'm not pathetic like you.]

__

I always knew that vampires were too horny.

[I never knew how boring and plain you were before. I guess everyone - ]

__

You really want to know the truth?

[Yes.]

__

Because the one person I was ready to share my life with I killed. I thought she was perfect for me and I killed her in the end. I blew my chance. And I never wanted to lose my virginity to some filthy whore in a street corner. I wasn't that desperate until YOU came along and got inside my head. Now all I think about is getting laid because you've made me aware of how lonely and pathetic I am at least ten times more than I thought. It's interfering with my job and orders and last time my love life got involved with the job things got ugly. This is driving me up the walls and I'm going to go mad because of you! I don't want to keep imagining sex with my dead love and I don't want to have sex with some prostitute that's infect with a countless number of diseases. So you tell me what the hell I should do!

[Hmmm…why not fuck a vampire?]

Gabriel shook his head, not believing how stupid Dracula was being. _Are you kidding?_

[Why not?]

__

I KILL VAMPIRES AND EVIL THINGS! DO YOU REALLY THINK I'm GOING TO SHAG THEM BEFORE I KILL THEM?

[Why not? I don't see what the problem is! As long as the job gets done why can't you have fun with your victims? It's called seduction and vampires use it all the time. In fact, a popular method IS to seduce your prey and then feed on them and kill them. You can do it. I can give you seduction 101 tips and classes. We can go out in dark alleyways and work on you seducing a vampire. We'll just have to figure out a way to make you look dead and ugh! Your heartbeat is really loud. We'll have to do something about it - ]

__

You could kill me.

[Wait? Are you asking me to kill you?]

__

No, I'm saying that you could kill me by trying to do something to my heart.

[Oh shame. I was kind of looking forward to having a kinky male vampire sex pet or sex toy.]

__

I thought you weren't gay.

[Yeah but the rules kind of bend if it's you.]

__

Are you hitting on me?

[What's hitting on mean?]

__

Are you trying to seduce me?

[No I don't think so. Why are you feeling aroused somehow by that? If so I think I should remember that trick.]

__

No, I'm not turned on by that! I'm just trying to find out if you're trying to get into my trousers - though how you plan on doing that is besides me since you don't even have your own body.

[Damn.]

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– – – – – – – – – – – –

****

TBC

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	7. BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!

**__**

Disclaimer: I don't own zip. Just the fic. Please don't sue me, I'm just a teenager, and the only thing I could pay you with is crazy hair colour dyes. Unless you really want green hair…

A/N: Thanks for the reviews and support. No worries: I'm not going to stop on the story, it's just school that won't stop. Hole in the wall inspired by me. Finding a close person to you (sister) having sex inspired by me. Yeah, if you hear funny noises coming inside a room…consider **not** going in. cough Yeah…so on with the story. cough Also I'm going to be updating quickly so review for every chapter, not just the last chapter, or else I'll get annoyed with just having two reviews for chapters and I'll give you guys the silent treatment, which means no updates. 'Cause how annoying is it when you update again each day and no one reviews until the final chapter.

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Toward Dawn

Chapter Six - Boom, Boom, Boom!

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Gabriel threw a deadly dagger across his room causing the dagger to make a big hole in the wall and a loud thud that could've been heard by the two holy men in the other room if they hadn't been doing it. Groaning miserably at the annoying and disturbing sounds that could be heard from the other room and the equally disgusting and horrid memory of Carl and Michael having sex were locked in his mind, which had put him on the edge dangerously. He didn't care about Carl in a lover way, more like brotherly, but Carl had picked a skinny weird nobody over _him _and Dracula would never let him live it down. It was a serious embarrassment that had ruined his reputation of getting admirers - both men and women. His tiny little reputation was in ruins. His manhood had been torn and shredded and tramped on in the dirt. And the worst of it was Dracula, who was on cue, tormenting Gabriel about it as predicted.

[An annoying weirdo of a friar that's a homosexual with the most ridiculous haircut and largest nose -]

__

Do NOT talk of my friend that way!

[Oh . . . I hit a nerve did I . . . So you ARE in love with Carl.]

__

No I'm NOT!

[And I don't drink blood.] Dracula coughed. [Not.] He coughed again. [But I don't care . . . No, what matters is that Mr. Horny Gay Holy Man is having sex and picked a puny skinny gay man over you, Van Helsing All Mighty, the left hand of God. It's just too good. . .]

__

And you would have me go have one night stands with whores or get it on with vampires!

[So MALE and female vampires? Because you said vampires not just FEMALE vampires! C'mon though! Imagine a beautiful and gorgeous whore with long dark curly hair, doe eyes, milky white smooth skin, perky breasts, and a dripping wet - ]

__

AAAAAAAAAAAGH! SHUT UP! I'M NOT IMAGINING THAT WITH YOU INSIDE MY HEAD!

[Ahhhh. . .But you HAVE thought it! Hmmmm. . .I know a game we can play to pass the time until Carl and Michael stop their late night rendezvous! Let's imagine women!]

Van Helsing started banging his head against the wall and began whimpering. _Why oh why, dear God, have you done this to ME?_

[Fine. Listen to Michael hump Carl. What a brilliant way to spend your Saturday night Gabriel. Let's listen to Carl and Michael _boom, boom, boom! _the night away towards dawn! Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .Boom. . .]

__

Fine! WE'LL PLAY IMAGINE WOMEN! My ideal woman would have dark curly hair, large breasts, a small waist, and an hour glass figure!

[Mine would be red or blonde hair. . .and big breasts and a small waist!]

__

THERE! DONE! GAME OVER! NOW SHUT UP!

[Noooo. . .now we have to imagine what they would sound like during an orgasim and in bed!]

__

Yeah well. . .I'm off now! I'm going to get piss ass drunk at the bar right now.

Dracula laughed evilly and manically.

__

What?! Don't tell me you're thinking of some evil plot with me in it!

['Course not.] _What you do when you're drunk isn't my fault, _Dracula thought evilly. . .

.

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****

TBC


	8. Gabriel Gets Laid: Part One Boobies!

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Disclaimer: I don't own zip. Just the fic. Please don't sue me, I'm just a teenager, and the only thing I could pay you with is crazy hair colour dyes. Unless you really want green hair…

****

A/N: J Poor GAYbe, he's going to really suffer in this fic. . .

Also, I'm not saying Europeans are alcoholics. . .but from what I've been told, children in France like say eight or so have a glass of wine at dinner while in America, you're lucky if you can even sneak a sip of your parents wine or whatever on the holidays and you're blessed if you have a friend with connections and knows someone who'll get alcohol for you guys. But the majority of my friends and me have never even had a sip of alcohol because of over protective parents and the law and I guess they want to keep us away from everything that's too adult for us. And I guess it wouldn't be a good thing to get your kid drunk or have your kid drunk at a holiday party. . .

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Toward Dawn

Chapter Seven - Boobies!

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"You know sir, you don't look so well. . .?"

"Yes well, you look like shit," Gabriel retorted at the female bartender who was beautiful with thick wavy blonde hair that reached to the top of her thighs and sapphire eyes with thick black eyelashes.

"Bitch. . ." Gabriel muttered.

The bartender snorted and raised an eyebrow. "You must be gay."

Gabriel groaned and looked away. "Why is _everyone_ saying that today?"

"That was a joke," the bartender said, rolling her eyes. "Well, at least you aren't hitting on me. Anyways, what do you want?"

"(A/N: insert name of alcohol, I'm American not European, so I have no clue about alcohol)."

After the bartender left Dracula began talking again.

[There went your chance. A beautiful one night stand you let slip through your grasp that would been making you moan things like - ]

__

Can you not let me get drunk in peace?

[Then where would be the fun?]

__

Go imagine having sex with the bartender in your imaginary coffin that you never use and leave me alone. There's your fun. Now go jack off or knock up some imaginary woman.

.

Later On

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"You're really beautiful. . .and really sexy," Gabriel slurred.

[What a pick up line. . .]

Gabriel didn't notice Dracula though and continued to hit on the bartender who was looking fairly amused at him. Giggling when Gabriel started swaying in his seat, Gabriel asked her what her name was.

"Lucifer."

Gabriel choked and gagged and stared at the bartender in disbelief. "You're named after the devil! What in God's name was your mother on when she gave birth to you, assuming she named you?"

Having dealt with worse before the bartender merely shrugged and continued working on cleaning a glass. "Lucifer means light bearer and well, my mother. . .from what I've heard. . .was a bit. . .odd and very unique. A real catch, though."

Gabriel shrugged too. Not thinking in his right mind from the alcohol he began staring at the bartenders ample breasts from the corset and dark purple low cut dress. "You have really big boobies, Miss. . .er Lucifer. . .or whatever your name is. . .can I touch them?"

.

Much Later On

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The bartender or Miss Lucifer and Gabriel were kissing passionately in Gabriel's room and though Gabriel was inexperienced, the bartender couldn't tell and was moaning so much along with Gabriel, that Dracula who had gone off in his imaginary coffin with imaginary ear plugs could hear both of them.

[Lucifer! I did NOT need to hear that coming from Gabriel's mouth! I will never be able to sleep again. . .After this unfortunate event with being imprisoned in his filthy perverted mind, I will no doubt be mental. Damn you Gabriel, for billionth and one time.]

Soon the moans had increased in frequency and volume and was driving Dracula mad. The only pleasure Dracula had was from seeing the low cut dark velvet purple dress slip lower. . .revealing a generous amount of her breasts that had caught his attention. Gabriel hissed and broke away from the bartender who Dracula was happily watching as her chest heaved up and down with her heavy breathing.

"I. . .I. . .Can't do this."

Dracula yelping in surprise from Gabriel's answer began yelling at him. [WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! MISS LUCIFER AKA MISS BOOBIES IS PANTING IN LUST FOR YOU AND YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LET HER GO? ARE YOU INSANE? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF ASEXUAL SEXUALLY DEPRIVED - ]

__

GET BACK IN YOUR COFFIN!

[NO! WE'RE ABOUT TO LOSE A GOOD SHOW WITH BOOBIES ON LUCIFER RIGHT NOW! YOU PUT THAT MORAL AND VALUES AND CHURCH SHIT BEHIND YOU NOW AND YOU UNZIP YOUR TROUSERS AND HER KNOCK HER UP GOOD SO THAT WE'RE NOT LISTENING TO TWO FRIAR MEN HAVING A ROMP ON A SATURDAY NIGHT IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR! NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING ALL THESE CENTURIES BUT I'M NOT THE VIRGIN MARY AND I'M NOT A SAINT AND THIS IS THE ONLY PLEASURABLE AND ENTERTAINING THING THAT'LL I'LL HAVE BEING INSIDE YOUR HEAD! NOW I DEMAND YOU UNDO YOUR ZIPPER AND GET ON TOP OF HER YOU ASEXUAL PATHETIC VIRGIN - ]

__

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? MY LIBIDO?

[YES! IF I HAVE TO! YES! I WILL BE YOUR LIBIDO! 'HELLO, WE HAVE NOT SPOKEN BEFORE UNTIL NOW AND YOU NEED TO KNOCK THIS GIRL UP BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T YOU WILL BE KNOWN AS A PATHETIC AND SAD - ]

__

FINE! I'LL KNOCK HER UP NOW GO AWAY! GO TO YOUR FUCKING COFFIN ALL READY!

[THANK YOU! NOW GO GET HIM. . .er. . .HER!]

.

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– – – – – – – – – – – –

****

TBC

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	9. Gabriel Gets Laid: Part Two SheHe

**__**

Disclaimer: I don't own zip. Just the fic. Please don't sue me, I'm just a teenager, and the only thing I could pay you with is crazy hair colour dyes. Unless you really want cotton candy pink hair…

****

A/N: I'm considering doing another fic like this only with Gabriel sleeping with Anna who's still alive (Hmmm. . .maybe reincarnation) and with Dracula being inside Gabriel's head. I'm thinking on it. . .one of my readers suggested it.

Also, Dracula appears stronger than Gabriel only because Dracula is kind of in control of the situation because he's stuck inside Gabriel's head and loves to torment him and Gabriel can't do anything about it.

Yes, Gabriel and Dracula are gay in this fic. Actually, Dracula is really bi in this fic since he did have wives but maybe he was too scared to come out, lol? But yes, they're gay, so if you don't like reading about gay people, don't read this fic. Though major spoiler coming Anna will make an appearance later on.

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__

This doubt is screaming in my face. . .

In this familiar place sheltered and concealed. . .And if this night won't let me rest. . .Don't let me second guess. . .What I know to be real. . .Put away all I know for tonight. . .And maybe I just might.. . .Learn to let it go. . .Take my security from me. . .And maybe finally. . .I won't have to know everything. . .

Unknown, Lifehouse

__

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Toward Dawn

Chapter Eight - She/He

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Earlier (Before Lucifer/Bartender Lady and Gabriel had gotten a room) A/N: Sorry for any confusion but it IS hilarious, so it's all good!

.

The bartender was straddling Gabriel, who was gripping her butt tightly making his way up the rickety old stairs to his room. Thoughts of preserving his virginity flew out his mind when the bartender erotically moved against him and moaned censored things in his ears in a breathy -

__

Oh God - Gabriel thought, mindful of his arousal that was making his black leather trousers painfully tight. _I'm not going to make it! I'm going to end up stumbling and falling on top of her and then doing her right there on the steps with everyone watching!_

Must make it to bedroom - Gabriel thought determinedly, and with a newfound burst of energy, most likely from his arousal and promise of sex and because he was a man, even though he was the left hand of God, he couldn't pass up a one night stand this beautiful and gorgeous who was whispering promises in bed that would've made him pass out or be extremely embarrassed in his normal state.

__

Damn Dracula.

He had been a virgin, the left hand of God, a warrior for the Church and God, and the fucking Devil's son had convinced him somehow or someway to lose his virginity. When had he lost all reason? Before or after he was drunk and asking about feeling the bartender's boobs or was it before or after Dracula moved inside his head or was it before or after he found Carl, his innocent little sweet Carl, and Michael having sex and had caught them?

__

This is too confusing, Gabriel thought. _Just focus on - AW!_

[DON'T FOCUS ON THE PUSSY YOU - YOU - _SEXUALLY DEPRIVED IDIOT! _Don't you know_ anything? _Really! How more stupid could you be? Lucifer - I can't believe I'm doing this - eh - since when did the All Mighty and powerful Prince of Romania and Devil's right hand - I beat Gabriel at something though - I'm the RIGHT hand which is much more important than the left hand - and vampire king become the sex prep cheerleader for the only man in the world that is a virgin other wise known as Van Helsing.]

"AW - AW - AW - AW - AW - my cock - my cock - my cock - my cock!" Gabriel yelped, stumbling, and falling on the stairs on top of the bartender.

[I can't believe I'm going to do this - Gods. GO - GO - GO - GO - GO - GO! YOU CAN DO THIS - MAKE IT TO THE ROOM - Oh fucking God - GABRIEL GET OFF YOUR TIGHT LITTLE - ER - BIG AND FIRM - LUCIFER! - GET OFF YOUR ARSE! YOU CAN'T HAVE SEX ON THE STAIRS! IT'S AGAINST THE LAW ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!]

__

Go to hell! I'll fuck where ever I want to you control freak! Mind your own FUCKING BUSINESS and I'll mind my FUCKING BUSINESS! Good? Great! It was a pleasure doing business with you Mr. Sick and Distorted Dracula.

[Besides you ARE the left hand of God. . .having sex could cost you your job. . .and I don't think but maybe, who knows, if you do have benefits working for God.]__

All of a sudden, Gabriel's arousal was limp.

__

Oh God. . .does that mean - oh God - I'm fucked.

[No you can't be. You're a virgin. Idiot. . .] Dracula sighed. [What am I going to do with you?]

But the worst realization had happened to Gabriel. When Dracula told him to be turned on he was and when he told him to stop thinking of sex he did. He was obeying Dracula. . .and worst of all Dracula was becoming his libido. . .and what if there was more? What would Dracula do to him?

Terrible or were they, thoughts of himself in chains with no clothes on kneeling in front of - and doing sexual favours - and thoughts of what Michael had done to Carl connected to him and Dracula came to him and made him jump off the bartender, panting and breathing hard.

.

A/N: I told you it was worth it but if that made you piss your pants from laughter then the end of this chapter of Gabriel getting laid will cause you to have stomach damage from laughing so hard if it's possible. So you've been warned.

Later On

__

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Gabriel's and the Bartender's clothes were ripped and torn from being ripped off each other and Gabriel was receiving a gift sent from God in the form of a blow job.

"Oooooooh," he groaned and giggled, "it tickles and tingles!"

Dracula shut his eyes and shook his head. [And you think I'm insane. . .you shouldn't be talking.]

Gabriel started thrusting in the Bartender's mouth, groaning, and then coming. Sweating profusely and breathing hard, Gabriel arched an eyebrow when he saw a white dripping substance smeared all over the Bartender's lips and chin and her swallowing something.

__

Hey Dracooo, what is that stuff_?_

Dracula banged his head against his imaginary coffin repeatedly and crawled inside it, locking himself in. [Don't call me that and no comment. There just _some _things that shouldn't be explained or said. This being one of them.]

__

OH - um. Is this the stuff that makes babies? I kind of remember what the friars were saying now about a runny white sticky substance that's like -

Dracula began choking and gagging, banging his head again against the coffin. [Don't - I don't need to hear this.]

__

Hmmmm. . .where did you learn about sex and all that?

[That's none of your "_fucking business._" The origins of my sex knowledge doesn't need to be included into your sex life.]

__

Oh. . .I understand. . .so you just went to a whorehouse for your coming of age thing to make you a man officially?

Dracula blinked. [No - ]

__

Those poor prostitutes. How you must've forced yourself on them.

Dracula slammed his fist into the top of his coffin wishing it was Gabriel's ugly mocking face instead. [NO! ACTUALLY, it was at COURT where women threw THEMSELVES at ME.]

__

Right - hey, there's more!

[Yes. There is. By the looks of it with her pussy shoved in your face and the way she's arranged her legs on your shoulders and neck and how she's supporting herself on her forearms, I'd say she wants you to perform oral sex and I really don't want to see you attempt this. I would never be sane again.]

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Later On

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Dracula was sleeping happily dreaming of having sex with the Bartender when something didn't turn out right. . .he was having sex with Gabriel! He was staring up at Gabriel's face, his eyes shut, and his eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated on thrusting into. . .oh Lucifer, Dracula thought. Who was Gabriel thrusting himself into. . .

It was him he knew it, but as he looked down his body, enjoying the sight of boobs yet trying to be serious he nearly lost control and would've thrown Gabriel off him when he saw he didn't have his dick. And there was Gabriel's dick coming in and out of HIM! And he had a vagina! HE WAS A WOMAN WHO WAS BEING FUCKED BY GABRIEL!, his thoughts screamed at him, and he was _enjoying _it -

Dracula nearly passed out when he realized vampires couldn't pass out which meant -

Oh Lucifer, he thought, he wasn't a vampire anymore.

__

Oh well. Might as well enjoy the sex.

NO! Where had that thought come from inside his head, Dracula thought. But he couldn't help it. And even though he wanted to stop, he wished he could stop, and would've died instead to stop, he was thrusting his feminine body against Gabriel's and had wrapped his arms around him with his fingernails digging into the holy man's shoulders. And he was moaning Gabriel's name! WHAT IN HELL?

Shit. He was screwed. And he was being fucked, by a man, and he had no knowledge of children and babies and what women did to protect themselves from becoming pregnant but he knew that if Gabriel came in him while he was a woman he'd end up pregnant. _SHIT!_ He wasn't having a baby and much less Gabriel Van Helsing's child! He was a male vampire and not a woman!

Gabriel was _kissing_ him now and he was enjoying - no - no -- no - no! Must shove Gabriel off now! But Gabriel was holding him tightly and thrusting against him faster which from his memory, whenever he did that, that meant he was going to come.

"GABRIEL!" he screamed when Gabriel came.

Digging into Gabriel's shoulders with his fingernails he felt shame, embarrassment, anger, and fear. Not only would he be pregnant now, but he was a woman, and had been fucked by his worst enemy, he wasn't a vampire anymore, and the worst of it all to his pride was, he had had an orgasim and was holding Gabriel still and even tighter to him. Lucifer, what a shitty afterlife he had.

.

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– – – – – – – – – – – –

****

TBC

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	10. Author's Note

Hiya everyone!

Due to all the confusion with the last chapter with the ending, I thought I would clear it up. Well, Dracula was dreaming of sex with the bartender or Miss Lucifer and then the next thing he knows he's woken up from his wet dream or whatever you call it and he's having sex with Gabriel in the bartender's body. And of course, it was Satan doing that to Dracula to punish him further for failing to kill Gabriel and to please his sadistic and cruel and sick perverted ways. And the bartender is in Dracula 's head now. I decided that it would be more funny if it was the bartender who was in Dracula's head rather than Gabriel's head. You can tell I'm loving all these plot twists and everything, can't you? ;) Thanks to everyone who's reviewed this fic and I'm glad everyone's loving it!

xMutedFaithx

P.S. All e-mails concerning flames or comments or reviews can be sent to my e-mail address on my bio page and anyone can add me to their MSN Messenger list if they like. I'm on-line a lot and I'll be happy to talk to anyone about the fic or whatever because I'm really bored now that it's summer and school's out and I live in the middle of nowhere in Washington state (no, not Washington DC, the other Washington that's on the west coast in a little corner in the US).


	11. Gabriel Gets Laid: Part Three Facing Pre...

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Disclaimer:I don't own anything from Van Helsing and blah blah blah and blah and blah blah blah and blah blah and blah blah blah blah. Blah. Blah blah?

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A/N: Damn ! They always screw up my spacing and format even though it's html! growls Anyways, the bartender's thoughts are in italics with brackets. Dracula just has brackets.

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"To sleep: perchance to dream: ay,

there's the rub:

For in that sleep of death what

dreams may come. . ."

---_William Shakespeare_

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Toward Dawn

Chapter Nine - Facing Pregnancy

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__

The road is long. . .

.

[Lucifer, I swear I'm going to murder you when I get out of this sick and twisted plan to put me through more hell and punishment. When I'm out of here I'm going to kick you so hard down there that my foot will be coming out of your arsehole and - ]

__

[HEY! HEY! HEY! NO ONE is sticking their foot up or out through there on me and I don't HAVE a dick so your little disturbed and disgusting plans aren't going to fly. And who the hell are you and where am I? This sure as hell isn't Italy.]

[Vladislaus Dragulia.]

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__

The memory slides. . .

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__

[Ok someone had way too much to drink. You said your name was Gabriel at one point or another. Before you got wasted and had plans of shoving their foot through an imaginary dick and out my asshole. And what's with the accent? You didn't have that before when I talked you.]

[Your name's Lucifer?]

__

[Why does EVERYONE give me shit about my name. Christ Mother, why did you name me after the Devil?]

.

__

To the whole of my undoing. . .

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[But you AREN'T Lucifer - the Devil - that is?]

__

[Gee, thanks for the support and consolation and then comparing ME to the devil. It's not like I'm his twin sister. Last time I checked I didn't have a tail coming out of my ass and horns on my head and a curled black moustache and red skin. I'm a twenty two year old woman that is NOT, I repeat, is NOT the evil incarnate nor am I possessed. If my name freaks you out too much, well then call me by my nickname Lucy. It's a good alternative to Lucifer.]

[I wasn't intending to offend you.]

.

__

Put aside. . .

.

__

[Good. But why were vowing to shove your feet into my asshole or out it? That isn't exactly the greeting I'm accustomed to in Italy. By your bad accent I can all ready tell you're not from Italy.]

[I'm from Romania.]

__

[Oh. Vampire country. I see. That would explain the death threats and life threatening greetings. Well, it's a good thing I don't plan on going there ever. And it would also explain the really really bad accent. But I don't remember that accent before when I spoke to you.]

Dracula sighed impatiently. [Well, if you're done insulting me and finished with being a bitch we have some _things _to work out. Like at the moment, I'm in _your _body with your _breasts _and _womanly assets_. And you're in _my _head. And it gets worse.]

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__

I put away. . .

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__

[What the hell? What's going on?]

[We switched bodies. In a way. I'm in your body. And you're in my head. And I think Lucifer is after me. It would explain why he keeps putting me in these embarrassing and disturbing situations.]

__

[Who's head were you stuck in before and what did you do to deserve the wrath, oh god, how melodramatic I sound, of "prince of darkness." Dun duh duh!]

[Do you remember the man who you were about to sleep with?]

__

[Yeah.]

[That was the man I was to kill and since I failed Lucifer is punishing me by doing this - putting me inside Gabriel's head - then putting me in your body - right when you guys were having sex - having me sleep with a man - having a man come inside me - traumatizing me like that - and - and - NOW I'M PREGNANT WITH GABRIEL'S CHILD WHO'S MY ENEMY AND WHO I'M SUPPOSED TO KILL!]

.

__

I push it back to get through each day. . .

.

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[Oh. . .you didn't have him use any contraceptive or yourself or have him pulled out before he came. . .shit. You are screwed. Sorry about the pun. But uh. . .well. . .since you can't kill the baby or the baby's father who's Gabriel lets think of the baby shower or what you'll name the baby. I can help you with the names - believe me I've thought long and hard about naming babies since with my name and everything - ]

[NO! That isn't going to happen! I'M NOT HAVING A BABY MUCH LESS GABRIEL'S!]

__

[That baby is going to come out WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! And you're going to GIVE BIRTH! So get used to the facts. And how do you think **I** feel? You just got me pregnant and do you know what pregnancies do to your figure? THANKS YOU BASTARD! I'm going to have saggy breasts, a flabby stomach, and excess fat! NOW I'M NOT GOING TO GET TIPS AT WORK!]

[SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT THE ONE THAT WILL HAVE TO GIVE BIRTH AND BE PREGNANT UNLESS - I need to get out of here and you'll have your body back before the baby's born!]

__

[HELL NO! YOU GOT ME PREGNANT - NOW YOU CAN GO THROUGH THE PREGNANCY AND CHILD LABOUR YOU INSENSITIVE FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO GET ME PREGNANT AND RUIN MY FORM WITHOUT PAYING FOR THE CONSEQUENCES? I'M NOT PAYING FOR YOUR STUPIDITIES YOU ARROGANT PIECE OF SHIT! GIVE BIRTH YOURSELF YOU SICK FUCK!]

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__

And all I feel is black and white. . .

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Later On

(After the screaming and yelling from the bartender and Dracula have subsided a little)

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[But - I - I can't! I'M A MAN! I can't go through pregnancy and give BIRTH! I'M A VAMPIRE KING AND PRINCE OF ROMANIA AND A GUY FOR THE LOVE OF HELL!]

__

[OH! YOUR SON'S GOING TO BE A PRINCE OR IF IT'S A DAUGHTER A PRINCESS! OH - OH - OH - I WANT TO BE THE GOD MOTHER FOR SPIRITIUAL GUIDANCE! God knows that child will need it!]

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__

And I'm wound up small and tight. . .

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MUCH Later On

(After Dracula's finished with PMSing, freaking out, and crying. After all, if you were a guy trapped in a woman's body I think the happiness of having breasts would wear off after getting pregnant and having to give birth. I think I would run into walls or jump out a window if it was me.)

.

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[Now aren't you going to tell the father of your baby the good news?]

[Aren't I the father? What more news do I need? Bad news anyways. I'm pregnant, a woman, with a bartender in my head, and used to be vampire since now I can pass out from what I've found, and Lucifer's after me.]

__

[SHIT! OK! Dracy - whatever you do don't go ballistic - it could add difficulties to the pregnancy or something - you never know these days with everything going wrong in the world. WAIT - I know what you are! You're a. . ."bi - gender". . .or a thing that can get pregnant that's a male. God, do you have any clue how many people will want your type of genes to spread? Women wouldn't be the only ones to give - ]

[Just - SHUT UP! Dieses wird oben gebumst. Ich bin jetzt offiziell eine Laune der Natur und des Gehens traumatized für den Rest meines existance.]

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And I don't know who I am. . .

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Black & White, by Sarah McLachlan.

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– – – – – – – – – – – –

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A/N: That was actually German. I had to make do with German because I couldn't find any Romanian translations on Alta Vista.

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Translation: This is fucked up. I am now officially a freak of nature and going to be traumatized for the rest of my existence.

– – – – – – – – – – – –

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TBC

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	12. Gabriel Gets Laid: Part Four The News

Toward Dawn

By xMutedFaithx

Chapter Ten - The News

– – – – – – – – – – – –

Baring his teeth which weren't really his since he was trapped in the body of a woman and the woman in the body he possessed now lived inside his head. It was extremely confusing and even more difficult to explain, and Dracula could only bare his teeth and look like someone had impaled him or was torturing him because of all the things that were going wrong in his afterlife. But the worst thing Dracula couldn't ever imagine before was Gabriel snuggling up with him. He'd rather rot away painfully and terribly in the sun or in a locked coffin. And the real shitty part of it was, Dracula mused, Gabriel wasn't as bad as in bed as he had thought even though Gabriel was a virgin. Though he would rather snuggle and cuddle with Gabriel which was the equivalent of death to a mortal than ever admit that to Gabriel. And being held in Gabriel's strong arms wasn't really that bad and his masculine scent tasted better than his Brides feminine scent had…oh no, he thought miserably, it could get much worse.

Dracula grimaced and made a face, wrinkling his nose and shutting his eyes closed, as he picked up Gabriel's hands on the breasts of the woman's body he was trapped in and moved them off. Still tightly closing his eyes, he rolled on his side to face Gabriel and forcefully shoved him off the bed without first noticing that not having vampire strength was terrible. Gabriel yelled bloody murder when his face hit the floor waking him up instantly and swearing his arse off. Dracula grinned sadistically and cackled at the pain stricken face of Gabriel. Gabriel was swearing and rubbing his face when he saw the person who had violently shoved him off the bed.

"You!" Gabriel yelled, pointing his right index finger at Dracula while rubbing his face with his left hand.

"Yes, me?" Dracula mocked, pointing at himself.

"ARE!"

Dracula lifted a blonde eyebrow. "Are? What am I?"

"A!"

Dracula rolled his eyes. "A what?"

"PYSCHO - "

Dracula grinned and his eyes gleamed -

"HARLOT - "

Dracula was bending over, cackling evilly, and had a stomach that was beginning to really hurt.

"BITCH!"

"Hmmmm…you know what I think? No 'course you don't -" Dracula said as Gabriel was about to answer "But I think big clumsy beefy Van Helsing was so stupid and fat he rolled over on the bed and landed on the wooden floor with a big thud which surprisingly supported you. Unfortunately, you didn't end up going through the floor and falling to your death and doom."

"I don't know what or who the hell you ARE but I know most women AREN'T like you!" Gabriel yelled.

"But Gabriel Van Helsing, you've never slept with another woman before tonight. You've never BEEN with a woman. You're GAY. REMEMBER?"

"How? Wha -" Gabriel gapped at him.

"Yes, it is what you are thinking. It's me."

"How?"

Dracula shrugged and grinned. "I don't know but let's get to the point." Dracula's face turned grave and serious, "last night I switched places with the bartender you were sleeping with during the middle of your -" Dracula waved a dainty feminine ivory white hand in the air "night off or whatever you want to call it. And you didn't pull you out you - " Dracula started saying things in a dark voice in a foreign language and then continued "and now I'm with your child because we both know Lucifer wouldn't pass on an opportunity like this! And the king of vampires, the infamous Dracula, and etc. etc. is pregnant, who is a male, or was one until now, with the child of Van Helsing, the Left Hand of God."

Gabriel's look of confusion and disbelief quickly turned into horror and fear and then he passed out.

Dracula pursed his lips and muttered incoherent things that had the words "son of a bitch," "bastard," and "stupid sick fuck" all rolled into a sentence and then finally, there was a pause of silence, before Dracula lost it and started yelling at Gabriel for being a unsupportive father and not having to deal with having to worrying about weight gain, maternity clothes, morning sickness, and giving birth.

__

[It's ok.] And Lucifer/Bartender began saying baby talk that only females could possibly do to Dracula. _[There are a LOT of single mothers and fatherless children! But let's look on the bright side of things! Your child will have a mom and a dad all rolled into one!]_

"AND YOU AREN'T A BIGENDER EITHER GABRIEL!" Dracula screamed.

– – – – – – – – – – – –

Author Notes: Ok, I'll get it if no one wants to read this fic any more. I can quit it and go back to writing a lot of Harry Potter fan fiction.


	13. The 2,000 Partner

Toward Dawn

By xMutedFaithx

Chapter Eleven

– – – – – – – – – – – –

I can transcend you and mentally bend you

But I can't handle the shit that I'm into

I have been blinded and always reminded

Of the things I've wanted but I never could find

I am a part of a world that I hate I wish the

End would come faster my world's a disaster

Can't you see that I'm down and I'm drowning

And I can't keep my head above my wake?

Starless, Crossfade

– – – – – – – – – – – –

Dracula growled and grabbed Gabriel by his shoulders, shaking him awake until Gabriel woke up and shrieked when he remembered who he had slept with. "You listen now, I am not having this child and I know you don't want it either. So we have to find a cure to dispose of it."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, coming to the conclusion he was better off letting Dracula go through the pain and torture of pregnancy and then could use the child as a spy - and then widened his eyes when he saw Dracula had a large pointy knife that was being tapped on his manhood. "Agreed," Gabriel said shakily, and sighed with relief once Dracula had pointed the knife somewhere else.

"Good. Now I'm off for some fun while we stay in this city," Dracula said nonchalantly while he still had the knife pointed at Gabriel as he stood up.

"What are you going to do?" Gabriel demanded, suspicion mingled with curiosity overtaking his senses.

"Oh. . .I'd say use that portrait invention to get a few of those portraits of Carl and Michael caught in the moment of bliss and passion," Dracula said, snickering.

"What do you want with those pictures?" Gabriel questioned.

"Sooner or later Carl and Michael will know but before they can say anything to the Cardinal they won't be working for the Church," Dracula said, winking and grinning sadistically. "Have a nice night. . .By the way, you were my worst partner ever but added to my list of … 2, 000 now, I believe."

And with that Dracula walked out, leaving a stunned Gabriel sitting on the wooden floor naked. "This is so fucked up," Gabriel said miserably, "first I had hopes I'd lose my virginity to Anna. She got killed trying to kill Dracula. Then Dracula invaded my head. Then he became the person I was sleeping with _while_ I was sleeping with them and this is a very fucked up way to get laid by the worst person imaginable, Dracula. What ever made me think that my bad luck wouldn't get in the way of having sex?" Then something dawned on him that made him shudder.

"I slept with a man . . ."

– – – – – – – – – – – –

Dracula held the camera happily in his hands after he took picture after picture of Carl and Michael going at it like bunnies, both who were oblivious to the sound of the camera; they were too lost in each other. After more biting, chewing, and savage sex Dracula was satisfied with the twenty three pictures he had of the two friars. Grinning with glee and sadistic pleasure he continued to watch the show and licked his lips when he saw small trickles of blood coming from some of the scratches on Carl. Little did he know he would lose his control very soon …

– – – – – – – – – – – –

Gabriel sighed, and threw his feet on the floor and left his room. After Dracula had left he hadn't done anything but think about the current situation. Being Roman Catholic meant for one, he would need to do the "honourable thing" and … marry Dracula and help raise the child. The only most difficult part besides Dracula being the son of the Devil, being a man trapped inside a woman's body with the woman inside his head, was Dracula was evil and if the child was born, it could pose a threat to God and the Church and the world, being Dracula's son also.

After all, Gabriel thought, _Dracula wasn't exactly … sane._

The child would no doubt be born with extraordinary strength and abilities having both fathers having high positions in Heaven and Hell. Gabriel, the Left Hand of God, and Dracula, the son of the Devil. He or she could also be born … half - vampire. He/she would battle with their blood lust and vampiric nature, and would not be accepted into either worlds. He/she would have immortality from Dracula and he would end up being like Gabriel if he raised his son or daughter right. The only family they would ever have would be him and Dracula, and all ready that sounded _real_ promising.

__

Poor kid, Gabriel thought miserably, _they're going to hate me._

Gabriel left his room and went to see what was happening with Dracula and his pictures of the two friars. Opening the door, he didn't expect anyone to notice him same as last time but only when he opened the door he lost his voice and felt like he was going to pass out.

__

Dracula was doing a threesome with Carl and Michael.

– – – – – – – – – – – –

Author Notes: I was really inspired by Vampire Hunter D and the kid of Dracula's that hasn't been born yet, lol. Thanks to God of Insanity for stirring my curiosity about who the Left Hand was and Vampire Hunter D.


	14. Dracula's New Kinky Male Sex Toy

Toward Dawn

By xMutedFaithx

Chapter Twelve

– – – – – – – – – – – –

"You unfaithful filthy horny dingy God damned old vampire bat!" Gabriel yelled. "You're carrying our CHILD and you're having every friar in this God forsaken town stick their cock in you!!! What kind of father ARE you? You're raising our child in a really BAD environment!!! Isn't it bad enough that his father is the fucking son of the DEVIL? Now he or she has to unnecessary sperm TORMENT him or her! My poor unborn child! If you wanted sex so _damn_ badly you could've just woken me up nicely and get off from there but you don't need to have foreign male sperm attacking our innocent unborn child! You sick BITCH/BASTARD WHORE!"

Dracula, Carl, and Michael all stopped in the middle of their rendezvous and stared at Gabriel. The faces on everyone was priceless.

"Van Helsing …" Carl said weakly, "you _know_ this woman?"

Gabriel took a deep breath of air. "Carl, I don't think you've ever _met _Dracula since you were usually near Anna in the castles and/or running away from monsters. But you have _seen _him from distance and though he may not _look _like before - this IS him, boobs and all."

"Pleasure to meet you -" Dracula began, stretching out his hand when Carl screamed.

"Oh Holy Father!" Carl squeaked and pulled his dick out of Dracula with a jump, landing on his arse and back. "Gabriel! How can Dracula be carrying a _child_?"

"ARGH!" Michael pulled out of Dracula and scrambled to stand by Carl. Shuddering, he muttered, "oh God!," over and over again.

"Eh … it's kind of hard too explain. I'm not even drunk so this is going to be difficult to say …"

Dracula rolled his eyes and snickered. "What Gabriel is saying is, the Left Hand of God, him, has been fraternizing with the enemy, the Son of the Devil, me, in a short one night sexual relationship, and what happened earlier when we left for the mission, I was stuck in his _head. _Eventually I got out and ended up being in the whore/bar maid he picked up and now the "lady" he was with is in my head. Oh, and because the bar maid was having sex with Gabriel, and I became her, and he came in me, I'm now carrying his child."

"Now who wants dibs on being the Godfather?" Dracula asked, sarcastically.

Carl fainted and Michael caught him.

"Dracula, will you come with me," Gabriel asked, but sounded more like a death threat since his green brown eyes were flaring up and were glinting maliciously. Looking ready to jump him and perform terrible gruesome acts involving sticks which Dracula seemed to like from history and impalement, Gabriel wouldn't have minded shoving some up his newly found feminine hole and arsehole. Leaving him to die or roast him over a fire didn't seem so bad right now.

Dragging him out of the room and into his or well used to be, _their_ room when Dracula was occupying his head, he shoved him against the wall and suspended him from the air. Hissing and spitting out his words, Gabriel said, "what the fuck do you thing you're DOING? Do you know how badly you've emotionally damaged Carl? He won't be able to SLEEP for weeks now!"

Dracula raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I could be his snuggly wuggly wabbit or bear?"

"NO!" Gabriel said dangerously which could've made the bravest man back off, only Dracula wasn't a man … really.

"Oh you ARE gay, aren't you Gaybe?" Dracula sneered. "Wanting more of the goods, are you, love?"

"GAH!" Gabriel yelled.

"How Neanderthal of you," Dracula said, rolling his eyes.

"**Stay - away - from - Carl**," Gabriel said, looking murderous.

"What do I get in return if I act - _gentlemanly_?" Dracula said slyly.

"Your afterlife," Gabriel growled.

"I'm the Son of the Devil, I don't do things for free. I only make deals."

"I am not making a deal with you, who could be considered the Devil himself," Gabriel tightened his hold on Dracula's neck.

"Well, there's going to be a lot of forests and hidden area to get some nice get to know each other time with Carl or Michael during the mission."

"Fine! What do you want in return?"

"If I can't have sex with whomever I wish to then I better get a good lay from you when I wish to," Dracula said bluntly, biting his lip, and thinking of Gabriel …

"HELL NO!" Gabriel had a look of horror on his face.

"But Carl is quite lovely and is a dear. He'd make _quite_ an companion during the lonely hard cold - "

"You - stay - the - fuck - away - from - Carl," Gabriel said icily.

"Deal or no deal?" Dracula whispered seductively.

Gabriel shuddered and muttered something along the lines of "I'm doing this for you, Carl."

"Agreed."

Dracula sadistically grinned and threw himself at Gabriel, taking him by surprise. Losing his grip on Dracula's throat he landed on his back on the bed.

"What did I get myself into?" Gabriel asked, horrified by having Dracula on top of him.

__

Do this for the child's sake, for Carl's sake …


	15. GabrielDracula's Concubine!

Disclaimer: No I don't Van Helsing. Damn. Too bad there aren't Hugh Jackman clones walking around.

Author Notes:

Sorry for the delays! My computer couldn't get online because of browser hijackers but I got the protection software so everything is ok. God, I was dying I swear with not being to update! I have all the other chapters typed up and ready to go and I was going insane, lol. Also, I'm glad to say that ever since I got a F on my German test I've been getting straight A's on every test in the class. HA! And one of my friends thought I would flunk and fail, and then get out of the class. Only now I'm the top student with the highest scores in second period German. HAHA! evil smirk I should've asked my friend who thought I'd fail that knows German for the sentence only she doesn't know I write fan fiction and I thought if I went up to her and asked her, "how do you say, "I am a freak of nature, and bla bla bla" she'd be like "what the effing is a matter with you?"

But I feel terrible now for making fun of peoples accents when speaking English and now I'm scared shitless to speak German in front of anyone like the teacher and others that speak it (I kind of uh … called my male teacher a Ms. Instead of Mr. And coughs let's just say I got yelled at and had to plead and beg and grovel.). So the moral of the story is don't make fun of the immigrants that come in from Mexico and other countries that have a funky accent because it's hell just trying to learn the DAMN language much less try to sound like a native. Wait until you have to learn French or German (Spanish is a cinch). I know I mumble and am usually quiet in that class when speaking for good reasons though now I can't shut up and keep rambling … Sorry!

Toward Dawn

By xMutedFaithx

Ch. 13

Dracula slammed his mouth against Gabriel's, undoing the hunter's top and rubbing his female body seductively against him. Gabriel's words were muffled by Dracula's mouth who was unforgiving to the other's plea and pulled Gabriel closer to him by his bare shoulders. After finally giving up on Gabriel and his muffled words, Dracula drew his fingernails in to the man's shoulders. Gabriel pushed Dracula backwards out of surprise.

Dracula gave a huff and swore. "Aren't you quite the virgin. Now what is it?"

Panting and horrified with himself, Gabriel backed away from Dracula but his attempt was futile when Dracula sprang back on top of him - again.

"You're really not too good with this are you?"

"I don't think I can handle doing this with you, quite frankly," Gabriel said seriously, stalling.

"Really because your God damn prick is up and if I do this -" Dracula picked up a rhythm without having Gabriel inside him causing Gabriel to involuntarily give a hiss and clenched his teeth. Dracula stealthily undid Gabriel's trousers and was able to initiate it. Gabriel's eyes widened and suddenly shut tightly, giving a strangled groan.

"This will happen."

Dracula pressed his lips against Gabriel's, fighting Gabriel for access but surely enough Gabriel's teeth came hard against his tongue.

"Aaaaugh!" Dracula said, feeling the sharp shooting pain his mouth. "This is going to be a long night."

"What do you -"

Carl shushed Michael, signalling at the door that Dracula and Gabriel were behind. Both were eavesdropping on the two and were horrified yet were overwhelmingly over come with a twisted sick pleasure at hearing the events occurring within the room. Both eagerly pressing one of their ears against the door they covered their snorts with their hands. To them, it was almost like seeing a show. Fortunately, the door was closed and locked, keeping them out.

"How come you never touched me like that?"

Carl inquired Michael at hearing Gabriel's cries of pleasure of no doubt Dracula's skill.

"NNNNNHHH! Shut up!" Michael hissed, grinning at the moans that were vibrating throughout the room and could be heard outside the door.

"Christ! What are they doing?" Carl rhetorically asked at hearing how Gabriel sounded like Dracula was giving the best hand job in existence. "You've really got to learn how to do that!"

Gabriel was lying on the bed, panting, feeling heady and giddy for once in a long time. Dracula was grinning like Cheshire cat at his accomplishment with seducing Gabriel.

"I never thought mouths could ever do that," Gabriel said breathlessly.

Dracula snickered. "You were a virgin and holy until I came along."

"How do you do that, with your tongue and fingers, and then the pace and pressure?"

"The best way to teach you is with hands on experience. No, not on you -" at Gabriel's hopeful face, "the other way around."

Carl and Michael stared at each other's faces. Feminine screams of pleasure were echoing down the hall, causing the eavesdroppers to snicker and snort.

"Damn. What did he push?" Carl asked.

"I don't know. I'm not familiar with female territory."

Both of them were entangled in each other's limbs and were gripping each other so hard both would have bruises, panting and though, both wouldn't admit it, they were holding on to each other by how they also were lying their heads on each other.

"Are you sure you're a virgin?" Dracula asked.

"Was - a few days ago."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"You'd think you got some formal instructing from that brod from the bar, is all."

"Holy shit, you're complimenting me in bed. Here I thought you were having problems with my sex drive."

"You're a prude and then you bit me."

"Better me than you."

"How would you know? You might actually like being with me. And my bites aren't too bad. They're unforgettable, is the keyword."

Gabriel shuddered. "I couldn't be with a man. That's - that's - not how it works. It's man and woman. If it was man and man why would God make women? He made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Why wouldn't he just make all men have vaginas and dicks? There's a reason for why things are how are they are."

Dracula made a mental note to change that thinking of Gabriel's when an idea came to him. Raising an eyebrow and smirking, Gabriel's suspicion arose.

"Oh no. Oh no. Oh nooo -"

Dracula had managed to wrestle Gabriel for the top position and had all ready won. His plan in fully seducing Gabriel was in order.

"Oh come on - it isn't Carl's odd tinkering work! It's simple! I slam my dick into you and do it repeatedly."

"We're not dogs! There are morals and values involved!"

Dracula winked, then shoved Gabriel on the floor and landed on top of him. "Ok, let's do it the dog style."

"BED!" Gabriel said loudly.

Dracula rolled his eyes. "There are dirty old men, perverted friars, and then horny regular people. Yet I know you aren't asexual. So just get it up and get on with it. Stop fighting me because you know what I want I always get."

"No you conceited piece of Lucifer shit! I am not your man whore! I'm not some concubine! I'm not going down without a fight!"

Dracula cocked an eyebrow. "You'll be forfeiting in a minute."

A/N: Ok, here's the deal! Review quickly and then I'll update! Sound good? If not, too bad. I'm a stubborn ass, lol.


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